Well, i know it's really been ages since i wrote, but if i keep it in anymore, i will burst out into tears and become self mutiliating. i absolutely HATE the place. i HATE it to the -censored- depths of hell. i know that i'm a traiterous titch but there's nothing else to it. -censored- it all. CURSES UPON ALL THE GODS CURSED BLUE BLOODED TWITS WHO CAN'T SHUT THEIR PIE-HOLES. GAH. i know it's unreasonable of me to hate anything so passionately and whole heartedly. but i so totally do. i don't care. i honestly feel like a little child, complaining, but really. did you know, that in america, this dude sued the city, and guess what, HE WON. would that happen in here? hehe. don't make me laugh. my FOOT. hell to all logic and sense. I HATE IT. i bet you're wondering what.This governmental system. yepp. an old flame, but its true. i HATE it. i mean, (this whole thing is about NAPFA) look,will doctors have to do standing broad jump? no. do lawyers have to run 2.4? no. do scientists have to do pull ups? NO. GODDAMNIT. WHY DO I? it f***ing doesn't make F***ing sense. I NEED TO SWEAR. I NEED TO HURT SOMEONE. NOW. GAH. ok, fine, maybe i just suck at physical stuff. but then again, are the schools allowed to force people into getting a silver? well, NJC is doing it. you know, my mum said legally, they're not allowed to force anyone into silvering anything. it may be an internal thing, but definately not legal. you know what? I'm gonna write a f***ing letter to the newspapers. that's it. i'll write it anon, but watch, why don't you. they'll accept it. and one day, when i SO TOTALLY RULE THE WORLD, i WILL DESTROY THIS RETARDED SYSTEM. NO ONE EXERCISES WILLINGLY AFTER SCHOOL. except maybe olympic wannabes. NO ONE. F*** F*** F***. I'M SO F***ING PISSED. I REALLY NEED TO HURT SOMEONE/SOMETHING. AAAAAAAAAH. my blood is boiling and if my blood pressure hasn't shot up, i'd be surprised. my hear is beating faster than it normally does ya know? my fingers are trembling. I STILL -censored- NEED A D IN THIS. crud. i'm supposed to abstain from cursing. sheesh. no one cares anyway. sigh. apparently, this is one of those things, ya know, in which when you write something, it never sounds as good as when you're thinking it. i will get back at them. i may lie a lot, but i do not break promises. there is a difference. and i promise i will get back at them. gah. either way, anyone out there has any ideas on how to get a 150? ok, so now i'm gonna proceed to talk about something else, before my triscupid valve ruptures. wow. i never realised how fun it is to write in sci.talk. we dissected a heart today. IT WAS SO COOL. i could stick my finger though an artery and it'd come out inside. i almost dies when i saw my teacher cut it. now i know, if not an astronaut, a doctor. definately. no way i'm gonna stay here. i'm getting out of here ASAP. and i'll never come back. EVER. that's how much i hate it. gah. i suppose people out there who've never had problems with NAPFA don't know shit of what i'm saying, right?well, it's a thing, ok? to see the -censored- target, so close to you, and not hit it. it kind of hurts. and well, ill admit it, it's a persoanl thing, but i can PASS. THATS ALL I CARE ABOUT. I DONT WANT A SILVER DAMMIT. I'LL NEVER GIVE IN. NEVER. EVER. EVER. i will become an astronaut and somehow discover that exercise destroys muscles. or degenerates bodies. or produces some crappy enzyme that cause digestion within the organs. whatever. till then, i will remain rebellious. and continue hating. and i will carry this hatred to my grave. sigh. it still soulds crappy, nothing like the passionate speeck revertebrating through my head right now. sigh. i still need to pack my bag and put out my clothes. i really hate my life. i hate it. wait. i don't hate my life. i hate verything that makes it this way. SCREW ALL FORMS OF DISCIPLINE. well, not discipline. torture. or whatever. i am exhausted. to the limit. i'm tired of my life. i really have nothing to look forward to. but then, i have to think of all the people worse off than me. but well, i'd happily give up my place. you know, today morning, my pillow was wet. no, i do not drool. i think i was crying. my sis said i was talking, something about tiredness. and i feel so miserable. i'm not good at anything. will i ever be? i know people who're good at, what, chem, bio, el, ma, phys, mt, what am i good at? why am i here? it really doesn't make sense. i just keep pouring my emotions into stories and nothing ever happens. i keep wishing there was magic, but no. there never is. and i keep hoping that there is some tiny sign that this isn't all life is. but no, apparently, it is. all my life was ever meant to be, was a pile of trash. i'll get away from here. i need some goddamn opportunites. anyway, ending off.maybe i'm the dreamer and this is my dream, my hopelessly messed up dream. cj
[edited and censored by ;MEL due to explicit content]
theslaphappies :D \\ 6:56 AM
